Tag Archives: family

June 23, 2013

23 Jun

Hello Moother,

Well, my belly is expanding at a rapid pace. I’ve really popped over the past week. None of my clothes fit, and I’ve had to cave in and buy maternity clothes. While I feel like a cow, it is fun to buy new clothes.

Next week Daddy is driving up to pick me up and then we’ll head up to see the rest of the family. I’m a little nervous to be back up north since I haven’t been since the funeral. It is exciting that the baby is on the way, but it is still very sad.

I wish you were around to deflect the “oh my God, you look huge!” comments that are sure to ensue. I want to feel your hand on my belly.

Today I went to mass for the first time since Easter. I know that is terrible, but I hate going alone and last time Husband came with me. There have been a lot of changes to my church, and I now feel like I need to find a new church. I really loved the way it was before, but since the Franciscan brothers gave the church back to the diocese, it hasn’t been the same. There is a lot more Latin and they got rid of all my favorite songs. They also don’t want you getting the Eucharist from the priest unless you have a prayer request, and if you get the Eucharist from the priest, you have to kneel down before the priest. It seems very Vatican I and frankly, I don’t like it.

I loved growing up with the church that we did. It was both traditional and modern. It was a nice blend. I felt like it really helped us enjoy the mass. I don’t want my baby growing up in this stuffy church. No thanks!

I’ll start church shopping next week. There are three or four churches in the area that I’m going to try. I hope I find one because I really hate not having a church to go to.

Anyway, I miss you a lot and wish I could ask you millions of questions about church and pregnancy and everything else. I also wish you’d come visit me. I feel like I’m forgetting your face.

I love you,



February 18, 2013

18 Feb

Hello Moother,

Today I didn’t have work because it’s President’s Day. Pretty Awesome. I’ll be back at work after two weeks off tomorrow. While I love not going into work, because, as you know, it depresses me that teachers are treated like poop, I’m glad to get back into the routine of things. I feel bad for my students who have had a sub for two weeks. I’m a little worried about getting the students back on track. God knows there hasn’t been much learning while I’ve been away.I probably could have gone in last week, but since my sadness hits me in waves, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it.

I’m worried that tonight I’m not going to sleep well in anticipation of going into work tomorrow. I had a panic attack on Friday night; the first one I’ve had in a long time–like 3 years. I also have been having nightmares. Last night I dreamt that Justin and I were in Hawaii. That part was nice. We were on the beach and Justin had walked down the beach to talk to someone. While he was away, the tide started to come in and our things were getting washed away into the ocean. I gathered them before they disappeared and found a dry spot for them. The ocean made me feel afraid. I was worried about sharks. It was strange being afraid of the ocean, since I grew up at the beach and spent so many days and weekends playing and swimming in the water. After I had placed our things away from the high tide, the water became very calm and the water pulled back and all the beach was dry. The water looked like Key Biscayne on a summer day. The water was so low, I could see fish, big and little, swimming around. Suddenly, Justin called to me. I left our things and walked over to him. Once I reached him, the tide suddenly rushed in and our things began to float away. We both ran for our things. I tried to swim over to save our things, but became afraid of what might be in the water, so I asked Justin to swim after it, despite knowing that I am strong swimmer. There was a rush of waves and Justin and our things were swept out to sea. It was awful. I felt like a selfish jerk. I looked the symbols up in my dream dictionary, but the explanations didn’t make any sense.

Well, last night the in-laws took me out to dinner at this Italian restuarant. It was delicious. If Daddy comes to visit, I’ll definitely have to take him there. It was all Northern Italian dishes and all the pasta was made in house. I had the pappardelle in a bolognese sauce. It was delightful. I also got dessert, a chocolate tart. They put crushed hazelnuts on top. It gave me a great idea for my Oscar party dessert. I think I’m going to do a chocolate mouse and crush hazelnuts on top to give it a Nutella feel. I don’t know. We’ll see. Justin got me a cookbook of essential Italian dishes. I’m thinking of making two a week. It might be a nice change since I feel like I make the same damn thing for dinner every week.

Tonight I’m making polenta with pork chops. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the pork chops yet. I’m hoping the cookbook inspires me.

Talk to you tomorrow.


p.s. please visit me soon in my dreams