Tag Archives: Church

June 23, 2013

23 Jun

Hello Moother,

Well, my belly is expanding at a rapid pace. I’ve really popped over the past week. None of my clothes fit, and I’ve had to cave in and buy maternity clothes. While I feel like a cow, it is fun to buy new clothes.

Next week Daddy is driving up to pick me up and then we’ll head up to see the rest of the family. I’m a little nervous to be back up north since I haven’t been since the funeral. It is exciting that the baby is on the way, but it is still very sad.

I wish you were around to deflect the “oh my God, you look huge!” comments that are sure to ensue. I want to feel your hand on my belly.

Today I went to mass for the first time since Easter. I know that is terrible, but I hate going alone and last time Husband came with me. There have been a lot of changes to my church, and I now feel like I need to find a new church. I really loved the way it was before, but since the Franciscan brothers gave the church back to the diocese, it hasn’t been the same. There is a lot more Latin and they got rid of all my favorite songs. They also don’t want you getting the Eucharist from the priest unless you have a prayer request, and if you get the Eucharist from the priest, you have to kneel down before the priest. It seems very Vatican I and frankly, I don’t like it.

I loved growing up with the church that we did. It was both traditional and modern. It was a nice blend. I felt like it really helped us enjoy the mass. I don’t want my baby growing up in this stuffy church. No thanks!

I’ll start church shopping next week. There are three or four churches in the area that I’m going to try. I hope I find one because I really hate not having a church to go to.

Anyway, I miss you a lot and wish I could ask you millions of questions about church and pregnancy and everything else. I also wish you’d come visit me. I feel like I’m forgetting your face.

I love you,



April 2, 2013

2 Apr

Hello Moother,

Well, Easter has come and gone. It was my first holiday without you. I wept over the potatoes as I sliced them. I just remembered how much you loved Easter. It is still my favorite holiday. I love Easter so much because it’s about new beginnings and reward for sacrifice. It’s also about eternal life which is comforting given how much I miss you. It’s like I know I have to be good because it means I will get to see you again. 

This Easter, despite being painful, was also surprising. On Thursday night, Justin told me he wanted to go to mass with me. I almost fell off of the couch. I was so happy. He doesn’t enjoy church, and I know it was a very big sacrifice for him. I felt so very loved because of this gesture. 

The mass, of course, was entirely too long. It ran almost 2 hours. I felt so bad for the people, like Justin, who were there for family or in an attempt to rekindle with the church. Long masses like that just keep people away. 

Still, the homily was very good and even Justin said he enjoyed it. It was nice bonding moment for us. You would have been very proud of him. 

Anyway, I keep hoping that your death is this really long dream that will eventually come to an end. I know it’s been two months, but I just can’t believe it. 

You haven’t visited me in my dreams since the week you died. Please come see me. I want to chat with you. 

I love you,