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June 23, 2013

23 Jun

Hello Moother,

Well, my belly is expanding at a rapid pace. I’ve really popped over the past week. None of my clothes fit, and I’ve had to cave in and buy maternity clothes. While I feel like a cow, it is fun to buy new clothes.

Next week Daddy is driving up to pick me up and then we’ll head up to see the rest of the family. I’m a little nervous to be back up north since I haven’t been since the funeral. It is exciting that the baby is on the way, but it is still very sad.

I wish you were around to deflect the “oh my God, you look huge!” comments that are sure to ensue. I want to feel your hand on my belly.

Today I went to mass for the first time since Easter. I know that is terrible, but I hate going alone and last time Husband came with me. There have been a lot of changes to my church, and I now feel like I need to find a new church. I really loved the way it was before, but since the Franciscan brothers gave the church back to the diocese, it hasn’t been the same. There is a lot more Latin and they got rid of all my favorite songs. They also don’t want you getting the Eucharist from the priest unless you have a prayer request, and if you get the Eucharist from the priest, you have to kneel down before the priest. It seems very Vatican I and frankly, I don’t like it.

I loved growing up with the church that we did. It was both traditional and modern. It was a nice blend. I felt like it really helped us enjoy the mass. I don’t want my baby growing up in this stuffy church. No thanks!

I’ll start church shopping next week. There are three or four churches in the area that I’m going to try. I hope I find one because I really hate not having a church to go to.

Anyway, I miss you a lot and wish I could ask you millions of questions about church and pregnancy and everything else. I also wish you’d come visit me. I feel like I’m forgetting your face.

I love you,

G

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February 19, 2013 (2.0)

19 Feb

Hello Moother,

I said the rosary for the first time on my own in a long time. I’m doing the rosary for lent this year. My goal is to do it every other day until Easter. As I was saying it, I remembered how whenever we would go on trips to the Gardens or Miami, we would say the rosary once we got on the highway. We did it the day we found my wedding dress, the day we booked most of the vendors for the wedding, and so many other times. I used to hate it, but today as I said it, I could feel your presence, and it was comforting.

Today’s mysteries were the the sorrowful ones which seemed appropriate as that is how I feel most days. I realized as I was praying that I’d never be able to shop with you, or pray with you, or drink Nespresso with you, but I reflected as best I could on each mystery and I think it helped quiet my pain.

I’m glad you insisted on us saying the rosary, because now I feel like I can say it and call on you.

I spoke with Michelle after I wrote to you, and she made a good point. She said you’d come talk to us when you’re ready. I’ll tell you more about how I have envisioned your past week tomorrow.

Love you,

G