March 28, 2013

29 Mar

Hello Moother,

So Miami made it to the sweet sixteen. We lost tonight, and here is why I think that happened. 

1. You were watching this game, weren’t you? 

I. thought. we. had. an. agreement. 

You promised, after a very mediocre football season a couple years ago, that you would stop watching games. Our success was directly correlated with your loyalty and viewership. 

How dare you. 

When Lucy’s viewership was 100%, Miami’s winnership (yeah, I made that word up) was 0%. 

Why? During the tournament? Why?

What the h?

Justin and I know you were watching. Whatever. We know. We know what you did. ::shakes head disapprovingly::

At halftime, Justin confessed that he was wearing a Miami shirt you got him and had to change. What more proof do we need? In fact, during the first half, I said, “Momma is clearly watching this game.” 

Momma why? We thought we had this. Our brackets are totally screwed. 

Can we please reiterate this agreement? No more Miami games for you. We appreciate your attempt to show your love for the Canes, but if you really loved us, you’d stop watching games from Heaven. 

Clearly, Jesus wanted us to lose tonight. And it is Holy week so, yeah. Whatever the Lord wants…

See you in my dreams, maybe, if you’re lucky.

Good night.

G and J

p.s. rice balls

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